These Shoes Aren't...

These shoes aren't what you think...okay, maybe. They are similar to the ones Carrie Bradshaw coveted in Sex and the City. For me, they represent lessons, or rather, life's lessons. Lessons can be strikingly beautiful, or hurt like hell, or fill our hearts with warm, gooey love, or make us feel like we swallowed a gross hairball. They come in all shapes, colors, and sizes. Like shoes.

One of my earliest life lessons was a huge one...the life changing kind. I was three or four. It was Sunday and I was headed out the door to go to Sunday School. Wearing a pretty dark blue dress, a velvet blue bolero jacket, white gloves, and my mary janes, I was ready! Except, I had to pee and this posed a problem. In order to achieve my objective, it meant I had to take off all my clothes. It was in that "ah ha" moment a pivotal lesson appeared. All I had to do was lift up my skirt and pull down my white Carters. Easy peasy. Sometimes when we look at a situation from a different perspective, we realize life doesn't have to be so hard.

Occasionally, lessons hurt. Driving home from the movies with my parents in the family Rambler, a question tickled my ear. I leaned forward and asked, "Dad, why don't some boys like me?" It is an age old conundrum. Not everyone likes us and that's okay. We are doing good if we love ourselves, much less like ourselves 365 days a year. It is in those moments when we make poor choices, gain five pounds because we ate one too many cookies, and realize we forgot to say I love you as we dash out the door that suck.

Sometimes lessons make us feel out of control. As a kid, I spent hours riding my beloved Schwinn all over my neighborhood. It was on one of those sunny, warm, and not a care in the world days when I learned a hard one. Expect the unexpected. I heard a siren in the distance and for some reason, I turned my bike around and zoomed home. There in the driveway was an ambulance with my mother inside heading off to Methodist hospital. It was then my perfect world turned upside down.

And yes, there are feel good lessons...lessons of love. This summer, standing in my driveway, I saw my dear friend, and neighbor, Brenda, helping her husband. "E" was learning to ride his new toy, a Onewheel. Something most rational, well educated 68 year old men don't take up. Golf yes, taking on a Onewheel...no. "E" wasn't one of those men.

Learning to master a Onewheel is much like learning to ride a bike. You start off slow with training wheels while an adult holds on and pushes you around. Over the summer, "E" spent countless hours with his Onewheel trying to become proficient. One day it happened. He graduated beyond the cul-de-sac. It was the golf cart paths that became "E's" Mt. Everest to summit. Prior to becoming proficient, and still in his "training wheel" period, he would hold onto Brenda's shoulder as they walked back and forth across the lawn. Too many times to count. It wasn't what they were doing together that melted my heart, it is what I saw. A moment shared between them wrapped in love. True love. The unconditional kind.

Love is not a pretty wrapped package found underneath a Christmas tree. Love is found in moments shared, unconditionally. This past summer, it was found in the front yard across the street .

One of the most difficult lessons to accept; change is the only constant in life. Change sometimes represents loss. A loss filling our souls with words we can't describe.

This blog is dedicated to "E". He lived on his own terms and by his own rules. A man who made an impression on my heart. A man who shared his wonderful wit and dry sense of humor with those who listened. Brenda lost her husband and I

lost my friend. He turned 69 three weeks prior to his passing. He was practicing "figure 8's" in his driveway when he took a fall. Time stood still in the moment. "E" was wearing all the safety gear. He was prepared and skilled. And yet, it didn't matter. I will always remember the look of shear joy I saw on his face when he rode his Onewheel...a toy only special men master. He was one of them..

During this new year, I will remind myself; life doesn't have to be hard, not everyone is going to like me, expect the unexpected, and love is found in moments shared unconditionally.